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How to be afraid and do it anyway.

This is both a dream and a delusion. If I'm not certain. How old am I to be risking everything with failure every day? The kind of foreign country failure, where you don't know the language or how to work the phone, where to do your laundry, how to find the right coins? How can I be so awkward

in this new American environs? How can I be so foreign in my same grocery store chain? I have become loosened from the mooring of the great system of winner takes all, buy a big house, ticky tacky boxes, where to go from here without this beautiful house, this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife.

Mai said the difference is actually moving past the fear of doing something new and not letting that stop you.

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